Saturday, March 29, 2008

A Glimpse of Late Saturday Night Brain Functions

Good evening everyone.

Where to start today I wonder? I woke up at about noon, went to a store and got some new shirts (a lot of my favorite ones are getting holes in them), and then I went home, spent time with my parents, and then came here. To work. Were I now sit with nothing to do, except just be here in case something should happen. Trust me on that, I am on pins and needles. Ughh…

And with it being the weekend and all, I have no new school updates. The studying is going ok, and as soon as I finish this post, I am going to dive right to the wonderful world of Thermodynamics. Ughh… again. So dull, yet so time consuming. I really don’t have anything to complain about today. That should come as a relief to a lot of you, my dear readers, because sometimes I think that subconsciously that is all I do here. Now for a news bulletin on the story I have been following, released from my own Personal Life Newspaper:

Professor T. Delays Plans For Diet!

Plans have changed regarding the start date of the Diet Plan, a new government program enacted to reduce the appearance of Love Handles. The problem with the Love Handles began with the acceptance of employment in a call center, authorities said today. The problem is caused by Professor T. sitting on his ass all day long, not getting any exercise, and a diet consisting primarily of Carl’s Jr. and various other fast food items.

Although sugar and sweets consumption is low, he still eats far too much greasy food, and as a result, his pants are getting tighter. This has driven waist line real-estate to an all time high, forcing the locals (occupants of the pockets) to be re-located to sub par housing in ghetto areas such as the back pockets and the backpack.

There are also serious safety concerns around the waist line, especially with the levees near the belt. Authorities are concerned how long they will hold before they break and we see a disaster of gut spillage. There are numerous other options, such as a girdle, to try and prevent this travesty of aesthetics, but state agencies are implementing the Diet Plan to avoid such awful last resort alternatives like the girdle.

The news of the delay in this Diet Plan came earlier today when Professor T. was spotted at Carl’s Jr. procuring a Six-Dollar JalapeƱo Burger and Chili Cheese Fries for lunch this afternoon. When confronted with this gross violation of state law, he had this to say:

“Uh, um… I was planning on starting Monday. That’s right, Monday.”

So the new official start date for the Diet Plan will begin Monday, and hopefully reduce the appearance of the Love Handles before he has to squeeze his fat ass into a bathing suit to go waterskiing in the coming months.

That is interesting news if I don’t say so myself, but I do. I also failed on working out this morning, as I had planned to do.

What else can I share with all of you before retreating into the nerd-dom of my textbooks? Oh yes! A new radio program that I like. Well, I am using the word ‘like’ a little liberally here, but I have listened to it a couple of times, and it is actually kind of cool. I ran across this in my late night meanderings across the AM dial. It’s called: Coast to Coast AM.


They deal with subjects like aliens, out of body experiences, science fiction to science fact, Bigfoot and many other oddities. Believing is one thing, but entertainment is another, and when it is in this form it’s pretty neat.

That will do it for me tonight folks. Time to learn more about effusion!

T

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