Friday, January 9, 2009

Memories That Could Have Been

Good afternoon everyone,

I am currently writing this here at work, however they have blocked the blog sites now, so I am posting this at home. Not that most of you would really know- I just needed something to write. So, for tonights entertainment, I have a list of Childrens Books that never were:

  • You Are Different and That's Bad

  • Dad's New Wife Robert

  • Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Myself Book!

  • Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence

  • Some Kittens Can Fly

  • Grandpa Gets a Casket

  • The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator

  • Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia

  • The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy

  • Strangers Have the Best Candy

  • Whining, Kicking, Crying and Getting What You Want

  • Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games!

  • Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things

  • Daddy Drinks Because You Cry

That will do it for me tonight folks. I plan on spending the rest of the night watching cartoons. I know that doesn't sound like news to anyone who knows me, but tonight is special: I am the proud owner of Frisky Dingo season 2! Go ahead- buy it and laugh!


Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Out With The Bad

Once again, here I am blogging about why I’m glad it’s a new year. Here is the next reason; getting rid of this guy:

Aaahhh, good times. In fact, I think we should take some time to reflect on some past golden moments this doofus has provided us. Here are my favorite Bush quotes:

  • "I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." — September 2000, explaining his energy policies at an event in Michigan.
  • "Rarely is the question asked, is our children learning?" — January 2000, during a campaign event in South Carolina.
  • "They misunderestimated the compassion of our country. I think they misunderestimated the will and determination of the commander in chief, too." — Sept. 26, 2001, in Langley, Va. Bush was referring to the terrorists who carried out the Sept. 11 attacks.
  • "There's no doubt in my mind, not one doubt in my mind, that we will fail." — Oct. 4, 2001, in Washington. Bush was remarking on a back-to-work plan after the terrorist attacks.
  • "It would be a mistake for the United States Senate to allow any kind of human cloning to come out of that chamber." — April 10, 2002, at the White House, as Bush urged Senate passage of a broad ban on cloning.
  • "There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again." — Sept. 17, 2002, in Nashville, Tenn.
  • "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." — Aug. 5, 2004, at the signing ceremony for a defense spending bill.
  • "Too many good docs are getting out of business. Too many OB/GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." — Sept. 6, 2004, at a rally in Poplar Bluff, Mo.
  • "It was not always a given that the United States and America would have a close relationship. After all, 60 years we were at war 60 years ago we were at war." — June 29, 2006, at the White House, where Bush met with Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi.
  • "Mr. Prime Minister, thank you for your introduction. Thank you for being such a fine host for the OPEC summit." — September 2007, in Sydney, Australia, where Bush was attending an APEC summit.
  • "The fact that they purchased the machine meant somebody had to make the machine. And when somebody makes a machine, it means there's jobs at the machine-making place." — May 27, 2008, in Mesa, Ariz.
  • "And they have no disregard for human life." — July 15, 2008, at the White House. Bush was referring to enemy fighters in Afghanistan.
  • "I remember meeting a mother of a child who was abducted by the North Koreans right here in the Oval Office." — June 26, 2008, during a Rose Garden news briefing.
  • "This thaw — took a while to thaw, it's going to take a while to unthaw." — Oct. 20, 2008, in Alexandria, La., as he discussed the economy and frozen credit markets.

Mom has a theory that he was actually drunk during most of these speeches. I am going with retarded.