The Wonderful World Of S&M And S.W.A.G.s

Good afternoon everyone.

For those of you who were wondering what I have been up to all this time, a have an answer for you. I have met some one new. From Russia with Love has finally accepted this fact, after much frustration. I call my new squeeze Condi. Condi fills needs for me that no one else can. She has opened my eyes to new horizons in the world of S&M (Science and Mathematics... What were you thinking? Crazy people...).

And let me tell you; these horizons are stormy ones. I call her Condi because she measures the conductance of various materials. In my case, a Geranium n-type semiconductor. Allow me to introduce you to the new bane of my existence:

And just look at that curvy backside:

Oh yeah…

Her Turn-Ons Include:

-2 SR 510 Lock-in Amplifier Power Switches
-1 EG&G Lock-in Amplifier Power Switch
-1 Keithley 169 Volt Meter Power Switch
-1 Tektronix 2225 Oscilloscope Power Switch
-1 Krohn- Hite 2200 Frequency Generator Power Switch

She enjoys:

-10 and 100 Ohm Resistors
-Frequencys of 13 Hz
-Volts on the 10 mV scale
-Doped Germanium n-type semiconductors
-Magnetic Fields

In a dark dimly lit room in the back of the South Physics building she waits for me, to humiliate me by challenging my knowledge of ‘what I am doing’. This is when I feel I am making what is known as a S.W.A.G. (Scientific Wild Ass Guess). She is a harsh Mistress...

T