Time For A Change

I was in the mall earlier today getting some new sunglasses, and a salesman from a cell phone kiosk approached me. I was walking by, and he stepped up to me and said: “excuse me sir, can I ask you a question?” to which I replied: “no”. But don’t you think it is odd that he already asked me a question to begin with? I certainly do, it’s just a little redundant.

I know what I am about to say will come as a surprise to a lot of you. So prepare yourselves, the following announcement is so shocking it is not for the elderly or those with heart conditions: I have decided to give up RockStars. I know what you are thinking, “did some one hack into his blog and decide to pull a prank on us?” No, I just want to pursue a healthier lifestyle. I want to be more active and in better shape, and hopefully that will give me more energy for my long days. I am sick of being tired all the time and merely functioning in the fog of a self induced insomnia. All of the stimulants in the RockStars do help for a short while, but then I am ready for a nap that I cannot take (because of the caffeine I just can’t sleep). Hopefully getting rid of that and more exercise will increase the longevity of my mental and physical stamina. However here is my disclaimer: I love coffee and tea. Those I will not give up. Just consume them in smaller amounts. It’s not just the caffeine in the RockStars that do this to me; there are many other stimulants in there such as Taurine, Ginseng, and biblical proportions of B-vitamins and such. That is what I need to be away from. I will let all of you know how this goes, especially after a long day, short night and long day again when the can tempts me, that 24oz cylinder of delicious liquid, composed of chemicals nearly a narcotic in strength. That brings me to another problem: my tolerance. I have a caffeine tolerance so high that I have to consume 24oz of RockStar, a cup or two of coffee and a few Coke-a-Colas just to meet my physical quota. All of this is on a daily basis. Shocking I know, that much in a single day could kill an ox or anything smaller in size. I figure it’s best to quit while I’m ahead, instead of going through a multiple organ failure. That does have me concerned slightly now as well, you realize, just because I have been living like this for so long. This is not a rock bottom, a sobbing confession or a requirement for a weekly meeting. I just want to try something different. And I will miss my high tolerance; it is actually something that I am proud of. I am about to join the ranks of the wussies. Moreover demote myself to the likes of those I used to laugh at, the ones who look spun on Meth after a can of Pepsi. Ugh, the humanity. That’s all for today folks. I just can’t muster any more (stupid RockStars).

T